Only a matter of time
by una123
Summary: A little Kylux one-shot, taking place right after the ending of TLJ. Find out, why General Hux did not kill Kylo Ren like he intented to when he found Snoke dead and Kylo unconcious after the fight with the praetorian guard and Rey. He could've done it, he was about to, but there was something holding him back.


Why did I hesitate? When I got the chance, why didn't I just pull the blaster and fire? There'd been no one else with us in Snokes throne room. Nobody would've known.

So, why did I hesitate? A quick, well-aimed shot while Kylo Ren was still unconscious, not yet coming to, and it would've been done. But I'd been unsure, a coward. I … hesitated.

When Ren finally woke up I'd been so mad at myself because of my failure that I let it out on him, fired my rage on Kylo like a madman. He used the force on me, of course. I can still feel this strange, invisible power tightening around my throat, closer and closer, slowly suffocating me. I have the vague impression it had been a punishment, that Kylo Ren knows I wanted to kill him.

One thing is for sure though: He now is my Supreme Leader. The head of the First Order. The man in charge. And why? Because I _hesitated_.

I'd been this close to my goal and I messed it up. Well done, Armitage Hux. Couldn't have went any better.

Not to forget the desaster on Crait: Despite their rundown equipment, weapons and X-wings, the Resistance was able to get away. Somehow the rebels managed it, leaving behind nothing. This scum had more luck than sense. All because of the help of a Jedi-girl, that was able to defeat Ren in a fight on Starkiller-Base. Wounded him badly, cut him, inflicted a scar across his face, which will mark him forever.

But the worst thing had been Rens fight with Luke Skywalker. I've never seen such humiliation. Skywalker had deluded Kylo by a Jedi-trick and played him like a fool. I've seen the hatred and scorn in Rens face when he battled him. Saw him afterwards crushed to the ground on our way back to the Supremacy. A sight I won't forget so fast and which, in a strange way, touched me.

Kylo Ren is intriguing, no doubt. Tall, dark and handsome he is. Since he doesn't wear his mask anymore I watch him every chance I get, not caring about that he's aware of it. His brown eyes are just beautiful, they hold a depth I can't comprehend and I have to be careful not to drown in them.

I guess these are the reasons for my hesitation. Ever since I've known him we had our issues, quarrels, and deep rivalry. But slowly, very slowly, some kind of respect for him had grown inside of me. Respect for a man who never gives up no matter how often he fails. The next time he just fought harder. Despite all his foolish emotions and actions he's going his way unperturbed.

Some time ago I fell for him, for what he was. _Him_. I have to admit it, because lying to myself wouldn't help. Kylo is like a whirlwind, rousing and exciting, breathtakingly easy. Gentle and soft too, when we're all alone. I just can't resist him.

And I haven't done a thing to save myself from him.

Kylo wasn't seen for hours on end. I wonder where he is and what he's doing right now. It's unusual for him not to get into things and stir a little chaos amongst the officers on the ship.

I myself had been busy bringing back order to my Stormtroops and keeping everything running on the heavily damaged Mega-class Dreadnought. The starboard wing is lost, floating through space dark and dead. But the rest of the ship is still functioning and I intend to keep it that way.

So many Troopers lost their lives during this attack from the Resistance cruiser. It's a pity and it will take quite a while to restructure the military forces of the First Order.

Ren is the First Order now, our new Leader. Walking down a quiet corridor towards the turbolift I remember the look on his face and his silence during the short flight back to the Supremacy.

The turbolift stops and opens the door to the throne room. Entering it I look about. There is pure chaos, debris everywhere. The red hangings which had covered the big panorama windows are gone, giving sight on the galaxy and the remaining destroyers of our fleet, on distand stars and the cold darkness of space.

Kylo sits on the throne, a sunken figure, head and shoulders hanging, arms resting on his legs, staring at the floor. No one but us is here. Whatever happened to Snokes remains I can't say. Ren probably got rid of them somehow. Slowly I approach him.

He doesn't look up, makes no move. "How can you hate someone who's gone?," he asks me with a low voice. "I know Skywalker isn't alive anymore. I felt him becoming one with the force. It's finally over, so why do I still hate him?"

I look down at him, his dark locks covered his face, and helplessly he was playing with his fingers. "I don't know." My voice is low and soothing.

Even though I'm not sensitive in the force I still know how Kylo feels. And I may seem harsh and emotionless most of the time, but I still do have feelings deep down inside of me, believe that. I just keep them locked away, learned how to manage this from childhood on. It's safer this way, in every aspect. Only when I'm alone or when it serves a purpose, then I show them.

And sometimes, very few times, like now, I give in to my true feelings. "Skywalker made a fool out of you. On purpose."

"It was his last lesson. That I not forget where I'm coming from."

"It was pure insult."

"I know. Luke chose to go into the force. He wouldn't give me the satisfaction to strike him down as he deserved it."

"Stop this self-pity. Stop it now. Are you a weakling or my Supreme Leader?" I kneel down before Kylo, put my hands on his thighs, looking him straight in the eyes. "Look, you have an ally in me. I might not be of much use with the force, but, I have other useful contributions as you well know." Rens dark eyes lock with mine, a lost expression in them. The scar lines abundently sharp across his face, making him seem … vulnerable.

"An ally? You? You wanted to kill me just a few hours ago. How can I trust you?"

"But I _didn't_ kill you. Ever wondered why _?_ "

Ren is gazing at me, insistent. "No. I still don't believe you're capable of love."

Hearing this, anger rises in me. My blue eyes shoot daggers at him. "Then I can never convince you and _I_ am a fool." Quickly I jump up and walk to one of the huge windows, looking outside, seeing nothing, really. What he just said hurt very much. "You know so much, still you cannot see what's right in front of you."

All of a sudden, Kylo's right behind me, putting his arms around my shoulders, holding me close. "Forgive me," he mutters gently in my ear. "But these recent incidents confuse me. I don't know what to believe anymore."

I lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder. He is so close, I feel his body heat, his presence all around me. "You can believe when I say that I'm true to you." Then his lips caress my cheek, tender and soft as the wings of a butterfly, sending little shivers down my spine. I do have strong feelings for him, and him only.

"I know," he whispers, as if he read my thoughts. "I know, Armitage."

Then he gives me the sweetest and gentlest kiss. I grow weak, kiss him back with all I feel for him, cling to him and never want to leave his side.

Kylo Ren is my weakness. He'll be my downfall, as certain as the death of every star in this galaxy. He is the only one to make me feel an emotion I never felt before.

But a weakness like this has to be obliterated, or it will obliterate you. It's as simple as that.

So, why did I hesitate to kill him, to snuff out this weakness of mine?

Next chance I get I won't hesitate again, or will I?

Will I not?

8


End file.
